Study .... T_T

I'm so sick of study... admittedly I should be doing more than I am... But I'm still kind of annoyed by the fact that last semester I wasn't allowed to do the classes I should have been in... and because of that, this semester I have to do an entire years work.  So this semester I've just managed to finish all of last semesters work.. now I need to do all of what we've done this semester in the following week before mid semester exams. 

Its soooo much work... and its all memorizing.... so after I remember a few hundred new words, kanji and grammar patterns, my brain gets kind of mushy.. if i keep studying it doesn't sink in.. but if I dont study, I cant pass the mid semester exams... 

3 Months 7 Days 22 Hours 45 Minutes 18 Seconds... A countdown to Sadness

Recently I can't help but think about going home... back to Adelaide I mean... 

Just over three months and I'll leave the country... Indonesia... my second home... my friends.. my new way of life... kekasihku... My new campus.. no more daily street-street... no more cheap food at warungs... no more ice skating on thursdays or playing billiards at Shelter... no more speaking Indonesian... I'll have to use western toilets, and take showers.. Sit alone at bus stops.. back to doing my own washing and cooking all my own meals.. spending too much time online... inside.. at home.. rather than out and about with friends... worrying about money and trying to work out where I'm going to live... 

But hardest of all, trying to deal with feeling like a part of me is missing.. like I used to have so much more, and suddenly its all gone.. with the wave of my hand, and a tear running down my face, it will all disappear... not forever... I know that... but it doesn't make it any easier... I don't know how I'll cope when here I see my friends everyday, and yet I still miss them when they're not around...